My New Running Team Experience

As I was finishing up my last year at Harper Community College, my running was finally getting to where I wanted. I was achieving decent times in my races but still was struggling to beat some of my high school personal bests. But overall I was on the right track and got better in many other areas that I was not well at in high school. Having a great high school and college experience already, I knew that most of my memories and success came from running and the people involved in it. I just could not give that up. So, I knew I still wanted to keep competing and continue having amazing experiences. I was ready to take my running to another level. 

That is when I decided I wanted to go to North Central College. They compete in NCAA DIII which I thought I could for sure keep up in. From the outside, I saw a well dedicated program with many successful runners. As the mens team has had many successes I assumed the woman's team had a decent program as well. It seemed more "serious" and thought that was what I needed. I even met with the coach multiple times and thought well of him. My previous teammate from Harper transferred here as well a year before me. In addition, I got into a suite in a good residence hall thanks to her. 

I continued to train a decent amount and would go to Harper's summer workouts to prepare for this xc season. As the summer came to and end, it was time to move in and start practicing with the new team and coach. Soon, we found out that practice was going to be at 5:45am everyday. I was a little worried about this but at this point, I had to just roll with it. The first couple weeks I was running with the faster group and doing better than I expected. There were a lot of people on the team and I had a little hard time connecting with the girls on the team. But I knew with time, I would start developing relationships. 


When competition time started approaching I was excited to finally race. My first race I finished 5th on the team and was satisfied with my time. A couple weeks later, I got in another race and finished 3rd for the team. As more races were scheduled to run in, I noticed my coach kept me from competing along with the other top girls on our team. I asked him if I could race still because I knew that he would be trying to save us for the end of season but I told him "no spot is guaranteed at the end" and he just told me, "not to worry" and that I would be good. I wasn't sure how I felt about this but again, just had to roll with it.

As time went by, I started realizing that I might have made the wrong decision to come here. It is sad to say but I was really starting to struggle. I still was struggling to make friends besides my roommates and began to dread practice. I started falling behind in workouts and falling asleep in class and missed my friends and family back at Harper and home. I also started to realize how much extra stress my coach puts on the team and me personally. With these problems developing in my life it definitely took a tole on my performance. I finally got to start racing more and was running a whole minute+ slower than I was the year before. I felt like I couldn't breathe or move my legs in races and was just letting people pass me instead of picking people off like I usually do.

With running being a huge part of my life, I was upset that this environment was not what I expected and that it was actually taking a toll on me. Typically I am not one to give up either and am generally a happy person but it definitely started showing that this was not going well. My coach began to notice and pulled me aside to talk. From then, I tried to regroup myself but it was still 1 step forward, two steps back. I began to realize how I truly feel about my coach and the team and became blunt with myself and realized I truly do not like it here. Moreover, I was not the only one on the team who was going through this either.


Eventually, I finished my season and stopped showing up to practice. I could not stand getting up in the morning anymore and going to practice. It was not fun at all and I learned I do not do well with "serious" after all. Since then, I've had many more talks with the coach and took a break from running for a week and a half. I started running on my own and it felt so much better to workout and do what I wanted to do on my own time. As Thankgiving and winter break are approaching I'm looking forward to training on my own again and am still going to give track a try as many of the girls say they like it more and practice is not in the morning everyday either. 

I definitely am having a mini identity crisis as running is such a huge part of my life so it was hard for me to go through that but there will always be that fire inside me that will not stop. I learned a lot through all of this and know that at the end of the day, my biggest competition is myself so just to be healthy and able to run wherever is what is getting me through. I am so thankful for the previous running programs I was in as they have made me who I am today and have allowed me to achieve so much. I have met the most amazing people from running and am blessed to have been coached, trained with, and be friends with those people.

My goal right now is to keep my head up and try and get my hungry mentality back. Its crazy that within a couple months a program could effect me this much but its not stopping me. Once I graduate college, I'll never be able to compete for a school again so I'm going to make the most of it.





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